Song Number 48- Say It Again

I wanted to give the Christmas song more time to breathe but there's no time for that!  Ah yes, the sound of the annual Christmas cold creeping in - "Say By Dabe", I should have called this one!

We're heading up north to see my folks for Christmas soon, and while I can record up there (see Song 41 for the results of that), I'd rather spend the time lounging in front of the fire eating chocolate oranges

So here's song 48, inspired by the website of a "sales expert" who trains cold callers.  It's one of the most nauseatingly smug sites I've ever seen - one look at it and you can feel the vomit rising - and that's even before you start pondering on the rather depressing notion that we now live in a society where a Cold Calling Trainer is even a necessary job.

"Song a week? YOU are weak!"

My first job was selling kitchens over the phone.  It's impossible - people are either in the market for a kitchen or they're not; you can't persuade someone to drop a couple of grand on a new one, even if they have been "specially selected by our computer to receive a £500 gift voucher towards the cost..."  Turnover at that place was incredible.  I lasted three weeks, before I was replaced by a guy called Brad Cheesebrough. 

But enough of that - got to get on with Song 49 now. Please keep your donations coming in by visiting http://www.justgiving.com/songaweek - and now you can donate by texting the code "SONG52" and the amount you want to donate ("£X") to 70070!

Song Number 47 - Johnny Got A Toy

HO HO HO!

So, getting in early, this is my Christmas song for the year, inspired by my mother and uncle's good-natured attempts to annoy each other by furnishing the other's children/grandchildren with the noisiest presents they could possibly find. The alternative title for this one is "Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Loud," and I believe it represents what for many people is the true sound of Christmas - an almighty racket, braying your head in from the moment the kids wake up to find their stockings full, right through Boxing Day, and only stopping when you finally rip the batteries out of every electronic device except the TV remote control.

Featuring the lovely Jess as "Exasperated Mother"

Remember these little bastards?

Seven songs to go?  How have I still got seven songs still to go?!

[EDIT: Oh no, hang on - it's only five.  Ach, my brain!]

Song Number 46: Indication of the Facts

Comeoncomeoncomeoncomeon...

Still time to donate - you know the drill! I'm keeping the lines open til about half way through January, I reckon. http://www.justgiving.com/songaweek

I had two parts to this song - one was the atmospheric intro/first verse as you hear it; the other was something that sounded a bit Ben Folds Five-ish and I wasn't too keen.  It just didn't fit - it sounded like I'd had two half-ideas and crammed them together (for a more successful attempt at this, check out that old hippie chestnut Something In The Air by Thunderclap Newman).  So I removed the BF5 bits and wrote something else that seemed to fit a little better.  I think it's still a bit bitty and directionless, but I do like the verse sections - the second verse in particular feels like it could be developed into something more interesting.

I never realised Pete Townsend produced this. So there you go.

The video is an advert for an American brand of coffee I lifted from the Prelinger Archives, a wonderful place to waste far too much time!  The sex education videos are wonderful. 

Tomorrow (or, rather, today) I'll be putting song 47 online, a song which promises to represent the true sound of Christmas...

Song Number 45: Centre Of The World

No offence intended, of course, but this bit of fluff is dedicated to teenagers, people who have teenage kids, and everybody who ever was a teenager (especially me).

Words came first, then chords, then a beat, then I moved the beat around to make it more interesting, then changed the chords, then scrapped the words completely and wrote new ones, then simplified the beat because it was dragging (the original is still there, processed to buggery and just about audible in the intro/first verse)

If I had a pic of me as a sulky teen I'd have used it.
This isn't far off, though.  Except I wasn't even cool enough
to wear a backwards baseball cap.

The inspiration for the final lyric came from a conversation I had with a teacher friend of mine about her having to hand-hold so many of her students (I don't have that problem, of course - all my pupils are lovely!), and our realisation that we were probably just as much of a pain in the arse at that age, as much as we'd like to forget it.  The footage, by the way, is from The Educated Fish, Directed by Dave Fleischer in 1937. 

45 down, so that's my original, scrawny weakling target met - just seven more to go and I'll be at the full-fat, gold-plated, big hairy bollock of a target!

Song Number 44: Hymn

You probably won't be expecting this:

Something a bit different.  Someone suggested I do a Tom Waits style track, and this was what came out.  I actually planned to do a Tom Waits impression with the vocals, but it just sounded too silly.  Not a bad impression, if I say so myself, but it was still me doing an impression rather than singing in a more honest voice.  Does that make sense?  Anyway, this is just me, my voice, my piano, and an over-worked noise gate.

Is that you,  Moxey?

Eight more to go...

Song Number 43: Light To Darkness

Big day today!

Here's Light To Darkness, a song which has proven an absolute nightmare to record - like so many other tracks this year, I had the song ready to go for what seemed like ages but couldn't get ten minutes together to record the vocals!  And when I finally did, my computer had a hissy fit and recorded the whole lot with all sorts of digital glitches, so I had to re-do the lot today.  But it's done! 

Most songs you'll hear on the wireless can be split into three components - the verse; the chorus; and another bit.  Here I've done two different bits, and tried to create a third by sticking the two together.  Does it work? Or is it a mess? Who cares - it's another song down.  Nine to go, and there's something else as well:

WE'VE DONE IT! Yes, folks, we've passed the £1,000 mark!

AAAADRIAAAAAANNNN!!!

I'm over the moon, particularly considering the original target was £250!  Thanks to everybody who's donated, and everybody who's helped me out by telling your friends and colleagues, Tweeting and Facebooking.  The people at Parkinson's UK are delighted, and on a personal level I can't quite belive I'm still going!

Now I know I've had a panic on lately over getting the songs finished, but you've kept your end of the bargain, so I'm now doubly determined to get the last nine done.  Song 52 will be online on New Year's Eve!

Song Number 42: When The Cameras Are Gone

Lot of background to this one.

I'd written the music, but was struggling to come up with something to write about lyric-wise.  Andrew Nicholls, marvellous guitarist and singer with Earthtide, suggested "how about a song which cryptically extols the virtues of channel four at 3.30pm every weekday......."

Well of course everybody knows what's on at 3.30 on weekdays on Channel Four - Countdown.  Great show.  Horrendously addictive.  And that got me reminiscing about sitting with my gran, watching possibly my favourite ever quiz show, Fifteen to One - it was on just after Countdown (or was it just before?) and featured William G Stewart asking question after question after question to fifteen contestants.  No messing about; no 'hilarious' anecdotes about family holidays; no Brucie Bonuses and definitely no Michael Barrymore.

Horrible man, horrible man,
horrible horrible horrible man.

So anyway, here it is: a song vaguely about quiz shows. There's also a reference to The Crystal Maze in there.  Happy days. 

One more song and I'm into single figures.